I Understand Dad

When I was a teenager my father was let go from his job.  Being a self involved young adult I remember little of how long he had been employed at the company or why he lost his job but seeing as it was circa 1974-1975 I imagine the reason he did had much to do with the recession of that decade due to the OPEC oil embargo. I do remember the inconveniences that it caused our family, the phone being turned off meant that we had to walk down the street to use the pay phone.  Our house was heated with oil and I well remember it being cold until we were able to pay for a delivery.  I also remember the stress that my father appeared to be under during this period of time.  An austere man with a quick temper, he seemed to have an even shorter temper then.

Reflecting back now I can understand where my father was at emotionally.  He was out of work during a time when many others were. His education was limited to a high school degree. He had a family to support and the job prospects during a recession were not good. I believe it was a year, maybe longer before he found another job.

Today I find myself in much the same situation that my father was all those years ago.  Out of work during what has become one of the worse economic downturns in this country's history.  The experts are trying to say convince us that things are better, that the country is slowly climbing out of the recession, but on the phone today with the New York State Department of Labor an automated voice told me that due to the over whelming number of unemployment cases being filed I would have to call back to talk to a rep. 

They were too busy to talk to me.  Or there weren't enough representatives working for the NYS DOL to handle the influx of unemployment cases. How ironic.

But I digress.  Today, in this moment, I can to a certain degree understand what my father must have felt over 30 years ago.  The uncertainty and doubt.  But there are also those feelings of inadequacy that come along with losing your job.  Even if they aren't justified they raise their ugly head and whisper "you weren't good enough" and "they don't want you any more".

I know that my situation is echoed by tens of thousands of people across this country.  Age, sex, and higher education don't seem to play a major role in this game either.  My youngest son, just came off of a year of unemployment and finally has a wonderful, stable job, he is 24 years old and holds a  Bachelor's Degree.  I am 50 years old  with an Associates Degree, my dad was in his 40's with only a GED but who was a very well educated man who excelled at his work.

I can only hope that unlike my father and son, it isn't a year before I find another source of employment.